


When Sorrows Come

by star_named_andy



Series: Shakespeare Does a Funny Thing [16]
Category: The Hobbit (1977), The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, BardXThranduil, Barduil - Freeform, Explicit Sexual Content, Fluff, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, M/M, References to Shakespeare, Rehabilitation, Sexy Times, bilbo is such a good friend, cheeseballs, sad!Bard (for a bit), some depression?, thranduilxbard
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-14
Updated: 2015-08-14
Packaged: 2018-04-14 15:05:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,836
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4569072
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/star_named_andy/pseuds/star_named_andy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Oddly, Bard felt safe in that foreign room because Thranduil was there, and he was holding him; he was in and around his body. Bard could never wish for much more, except perhaps Thranduil’s freedom from the curse that kept him in that very room.</p>
            </blockquote>





	When Sorrows Come

**Author's Note:**

> (Disclaimer: I do not own the Hobbit, Lord of the Rings, or any of its characters or content. I also make no claims to owning any of William Shakespeare's work.)

Bard’s heart was set on visiting Thranduil as soon as he was allowed to have visitors. Five days would come and go by fast, he figured, but he still needed to occupy himself to keep from worrying too much about his sweet beloved. He went through his normal daily cycles, taking care of things around the house and running errands to town and back. When he wasn’t doing those things, he was filling every minute of every day with something, whether it was cleaning, reading, shooting, fixing, toiling – anything. He was almost always in contact with Bilbo by text message or phone call, leaning as much as he needed on his loyal friend for comfort and support when he needed it the most.

In between everything else, Bard was working on preparing a letter to present to his boyfriend at their reunion, but after only three days of Thranduil being inpatient at the rehabilitation facility in California, Miluiel updated him and said that Thranduil’s primary caretaker had extended Thranduil’s isolation time to seven days instead of five. Such news was a weight on Bard’s mind; what had happened to prolong the time Thranduil had to spend without visitors? Had his condition worsened? Were they _really_ taking proper care of him? Were they smothering him? What was Thranduil thinking, what was he doing? Was he losing his mind?

Bard felt like he could easily lose his mind not knowing what was going on. It always seemed that he was doing just that when it came to Thranduil, but as long as he believed things would be different after treatment and that they could both persevere through the struggle, he could be strong while waiting for good things to come…he hoped.

On the fifth day, the morning brought on a new idea: today he would go on a solo mission to let nature beat the pestering thoughts out of his head. He would be cleansed and clear by the time he returned home, at least temporarily. This was _his_ rehab.

He packed a big hiking bag, grabbed a bow and quiver of arrows (in case he decided to get some practice in), left a note for his parents, and went off.

The car ride was silent. He couldn’t stand music at the moment. It reminded him too much of Thranduil; but then again, so did everything, really. It was like a disease, but one that wasn’t totally unwelcome.

Bard parked his truck at the base of the mountain when he finally reached it; he’d made the hike many times with company and without, so his worries regarding safety were minimal. There were only a few tricky spots once far enough on the trail and he knew where they all were.

The very start of the hike was mild, as it was level and the path was clear of large obstacles like rocks, roots, and fallen trees long dead. The dead trees sometimes bothered him if they became troublesome to get over or around, but they were removed most of the time for the sake of all who were coming through for leisure. That way, the hike wouldn’t be too difficult to start off with and plants were free to grow where the ground was free of rotting wood.

The beginning was light, even with Bard carrying quite a bit of weight on his back. He was plenty strong enough to heave it all up to the very top of the mountain. The thought of carrying his lanky love on his back all the way up to the top slid sneakily into his mind: Thranduil would enjoy it for a few moments, but then worry that he was too heavy or that he was hurting Bard. Once Bard assured him enough that he was truly no trouble, Thranduil would become more comfortable and complain, even though he was literally doing nothing that would cause him perspiration, not even walking. He would then whisper things into his ear that made Bard shudder with so many feelings. He would surely kiss him and nip at him until Bard had to stop and make love to him in the grass. The blonde was happy, any fear of bugs creeping on him gone as he became completely enveloped in Bard, smiling between every kiss.

Bard paused a moment as he let the vision melt from his head. He was an artist who brought his wet, freshly painted art piece into the sun and watched it as it became a mess of color and meaninglessness because it hurt too much to see.

He gave a light chuckle at himself, shooing away his self-proclaimed stupidity and overreacting and trudged further up the trail.

He went higher and higher, reaching steeper heights and levels he had to pull himself up on and climb up. He hadn’t considered that his bow would get in the way when he came to this part of the hike. There was no room on his back, and so he had to carry it in his hand.

The trees were lean like Thranduil. The wind carried his voice:  “ _Where are you going? Why aren’t you here? I need you. Please come to me.”_ The grass blades teased Bard’s ankles and he could swear it was a sign, that it was Thranduil on his heel trying to stop him from _running away_. Even the blue sky haunted him, looking down at him like those eyes he missed. Guilt came crashing down on him from all directions, forcing him to stop.

Being around his parents, Bilbo, and the people of his hometown had come to be too much to handle, or so he thought. He’d felt overwhelmed, crowded. He was convinced he needed true alone time, not just the cold moments in the bathroom, in his bedroom at night, or when he’d be left in a room by himself for a few minutes or so. He had craved to be alone so badly. He thought that maybe the spirit accompanying him and driving him mad, always present whether there were people around or not, would disappear if he was away from everyone else for just a short time, but he wasn’t so fortunate. The spirit was still there, and he had never felt so lonely, so suffocated, and so desperate to be around people and to be in utter solitude all at once.

His mind and his body worked together to get Bard completely alone so his physical form could finally break down along with his soul.

No one had ever told him love could hurt so much and he was mad at all of those who could have told him and didn’t. He was mad at everything.

Bard stood there and wept openly, wishing by some magic that the real Thranduil would appear and take away all of his pain and suffering. He felt so much guilt for not being able to be there with him, even though there was absolutely no way he could be. He felt selfish for feeling hurt when Thranduil was the one having it tough, yet he still wanted to be held and comforted more than anything.

His face became drenched with all the tears that had been building inside of him. He wailed and yelled and shouted about how unfair the world was and how much he hated feeling these horrid feelings. He cursed any gods that existed for casting torment on his true love. He criticized himself for being so weak and helpless. Ultimately, he felt worthless.

He dropped to his knees and didn’t care about the pebbles and twigs that pierced and scraped his skin. His hands wiped furiously at his face, but the tears were ever flowing. His breaths were choppy, his throat growing dry and his nose dripping. He flopped down onto his side, curled up in a ball in the grass.

"When sorrows come, they come not single spies, but in battalions...it's really true after all."

Crying was such messy, exhausting business and he loathed it, but he laid there until no more tears would come. He stayed there, processing all that had just happened. It may have seemed like not much had happened at all from the outside, but inside there was a sad chaos churning in him aggressively. As he remained there staring at the moss, he realized that he was in a far darker place than he could have ever imagined.

Bard sat up and stayed sitting until he felt he had enough strength to stand.  He let out a large breath, rubbed the last of his tears away, and stood up straight with his eyes set ahead on the trail. He wanted to finish the hike, for himself…in a way, he wanted to finish it for Thranduil, too. He wanted to prove that he was still capable of doing all the things he could before, no matter what kind of things life threw at him. He was strong, or at least he felt he _had_ to be. There was no way he would let himself break from the pressure weighing down on him. He had to try. He was too afraid of being weak not to try.

If he were in a better frame of mind and a little less stubborn, he would know it was a stupid idea to keep going. It really was stupid, and even as bits of that realization came to him, he ignored it. He forced his legs forward, forward, forward, until they finally collapsed and he lay limp on the ground with muscles tired, body, mind and soul fatigued, and head bleeding. Everything shut down into empty, black nothingness before Bard could even comprehend what was going on.

“Hey, come on, buddy!”

An alarmingly loud voice roused Bard from his unconsciousness. His eyes flew open and he found himself looking at the sky past the mountain ranger’s head hovering over him. He started to sit up, but as he did he was instantly dizzy and a sharp pain in the back of his head warned him to lay back down.

“What happened?” he asked groggily and squinted to get a better focus on the ranger’s face. He could hear others bustling and chatting around him, but he didn’t bother move his head to look for himself.

“You must’ve taken a fall. You bumped your head pretty good, lost some blood. You most likely only have a mild concussion, but we’re going to get you out of here and to the nearest hospital in you’re your injury is severe. Do you know where you are?”

“Laketown, Oregon.”

“Your name?”

“Bard Bowman.”

“April fifteenth.”

“Age?”

“Twenty.”

“That all checks out, good.” The ranger spoke with a nod as he conferred with the identification card from Bard’s wallet he must have fished out upon finding the young man. “Well Bard, the chopper should be here any minute.”

“Chopper?”

“It’ll be easiest to lift you out of here.”

“Oh god.” Bard sighed.

Since when did his life turn _so_ dramatic? His parents would surely each have a heart attack once they heard the news, if they hadn’t already.

“We already called your parents and they’ll meet you there.”

“Did you talk to them?”

“Yes, they’re plenty worried. You best be more careful out here. You’re lucky some smart elk came by. There were two of them, a male and a female. They found you and one stayed by your side while the other came to our cabin, made a ruckus, and led us up here to you. Never have I seen something like it in thirteen years in these mountains!”

“What? Really? You’re sure?” Bard questioned in disbelief and the ranger nodded in confirmation.

“Sure as the sky is blue. Amazing – sounds like the chopper is here!”

Bard could hear the craft approaching and he was told not to move, for when the board was lowered he would be picked up and put onto it. With his head bandaged, Bard was secured onto the board with a calm smile on his face. Even though what had transpired on his hike had been quite awful, the story of the elk, true or not, soothed him. Thranduil was really with him.

Luckily, his injury was nothing severe and though his parents were concerned, Bard was feeling better than he had in days. He spent the rest of his time waiting for visitation to be permitted relaxing at home, healing, and having Bilbo over for a sleepover where all the two did was hang out in pajamas, eat food, play video games, gossip, and watch movies until their eyes couldn’t stay open any longer (not much different from how they spent their dorm days, really).

“I’m glad you’re feeling better after your little freak out.” Bilbo spoke up randomly with a cheeky grin from his curled up position in the living room recliner. Even though his comment was meant to be teasing, there was a genuine caring behind it.

Bilbo’s curls were poking out around his head in all sorts of funny directions, but Bard couldn’t tease him for it too much, since he had an awful bedhead himself. Half of his hair was flat from being pressed into the couch cushion all night, and the other half was a teased up, voluminous nightmare. With their hair wrecked and their mismatched pajama pants and tops disheveled, they were a pretty odd sight. Bilbo set his empty bowl down and Bard finished chewing the hunk of cereal that had packed his cheek before making a remark of his own.

“I wouldn’t call it a freak out. More like a freak accident.” He said with a shrug.

“I think I’m glad that you fell.”

Bard nearly choked on that one and didn’t wait to swallow his next spoonful before replying.

“What, why?!” he mumbled.

“It’s a fate thing! This was the slam on the brakes that you needed, Bard, you overachieving idiot!”

“You’re so aggressive in the morning. First you’re glad I hit my head and then you call me an idiot. Sheesh.”

“You know I don’t mean it like that. What I mean is, you needed some kind of wake up call to snap you out of this ‘I’m going to pretend I’m not sad’ mentality. I did mean the idiot part, though.”

“Figures.”

“Well, you can’t just ignore your problems and bottle it all up, you know?”

“I just thought trying to distance myself from everything that was bothering would be better than obsessing over it.”

“Trying to avoid things makes you obsess over it more, believe it or not. It’s like trying to hide a boner.”

“…What?”

“The more you try to ignore it, the worse it gets!”

“My god!” Bard laughed and had to put the rest of his cereal down before he could drop it from laughing so hard. Bilbo laughed too, because of course he found his own little jokes highly entertaining. “You are literally too much!”

“Do you remember move-in day freshmen year?” Bilbo asked as he pulled his borrowed blanket around his shoulders and they both chuckled.

“Yeah! You told me to leave my shoes outside the door while I had three boxes in my arms. Ridiculous.”

“You kept it up for three months!” Bilbo reminded with a wag of his finger and Bard smiled.

“Only when you got to the point where you left your own shoes in the room.”

“So considerate.”

“I think our hall mates were relieved our long line of stinky shoes finally stopped smelling up the corridor.”

“ _I_ sprayed those shoes with febreeze.”

“Didn’t do much. Your big feet can get foul smelling.”

“I can’t deny that…so are you going to be alright tomorrow?”

“Yeah, I think so. I’m more excited than anything.”

“I know. He just not might be himself.”

“I’m not sure what I’m going to walk into.” Bard said rubbing his eyes, mixed emotions about finally seeing his boyfriend the next day swirling within him. “I’m not going to complain. He’s having a much harder time of all this than me, I’m sure.”

“Your feelings and your conflicts are valid too.”

“I know, I know.”

“Say it.”

“Why?”

“Say it!” Bilbo demanded and lunged from his spot in the recliner and onto Bard on the couch. He started shaking Bard by the shoulders chanting: “Say it! Say it! Say it!”. Bard was laughing too hard to even utter the desired words, until Brent came wandering in to say good morning and left with a very perplexed expression fixed on his face. The two young men sat in their awkward position quietly until they heard Brent stomp back up the stairs and were free to belt out their laughter.

“Well that was thoroughly embarrassing!” Bilbo declared and Bard pushed him, sending him flopping to the other end of the couch.

“It’s your own fault, jumping across the living room like a flying squirrel or something!” Bilbo grabbed hold of Bard’s foot and wiggled his fingers, threatening to tickle. “What?! I thought we were done with the shenanigans!”

“Say it, Bard!”

“I don’t even remember what I’m supposed to say!”

“Say that your feelings and conflicts are valid! I’m doing this to help you.”

“My feelings and conflicts are valid.”

“LIKE YOU MEAN IT!”

“MY FEELINGS AND CONFLICTS ARE VALID!”

“Good! Now just keep telling yourself that for the rest of time and you’ll be golden!”

And in the next moment after that, Bilbo thwapped Bard in the head with a throw pillow for no reason at all. Next time he had Bilbo over and he asked for sugar in his cereal, he had to remember to say no and avoid his hyper craziness.

Once Bilbo departed, the day dragged on. He finished his thoughts in his letter for Thranduil and it read:

_I don’t really know how to start this or what it’s supposed to be, really. I think I just feel like I want to talk to you, so this will have to be me talking to you for now and later you’ll be able to really have the words for yourself._

_So much has happened since I met you. I’m not a different person, but a better version of myself, the person I was always meant to be. Almost like all my life I’ve been a growing flower (bear with me, I know it sounds cheesy)._

_I was once nothing more than an idea, then a seed, then a seed with roots, and on and on until I was finally a stem with leaves and a bud of a flower on top. As I got older and went through more in life, I conquered challenges and experienced great things, and with each of those happenings, I was nourished. I became a greater person, a greater flower with petals falling open to one day make a full, beautiful flower one by one. And then when I met you, really met you (instead of just seeing you perform), it was like a shower of magic rain came gently pouring over me and I was blooming at hyper speed! I felt fresh, renewed, better, and beautiful. I still feel like that every second I remember you’re in my life, every time I hear your name, every time I see your face. No matter what we’ve been through, I’ve always felt that way._

_I remember seeing you perform for the first time in Romeo and Juliet. You played Mercutio and you were a sophomore then. I remember hearing from people that “Thranduil Oropherion was probably the best actor in the whole school”. First I thought “Wow, I’ve never seen a name like this” as I read your name in the program, but after I saw you in your first scene, I knew that all those people were right about you being the best. You were then and you are now – you always will be. Every time you hit the stage, you’re inspiring and vibrant. Seeing you play a character is like a dream, but being around the real you takes me to an even better place._

_I couldn’t believe that first night we spent together. It was all weirdly endearing, even though you were pretty out of it. To think, if you hadn’t broken that light, I would have never been there that night and things could be completely different than they are now._

_I was sure that after you left my room that morning, I’d never be so close to you ever again. I’ve never been so happy to be wrong about something in all my life._

_It broke my heart to know that you were hurting so badly; I love you so much and I would never want anything to ever harm you, but I know that there is no use on dwelling on the bad things that have already happened. Instead, what I can do is help you come back into the happiness you deserve and make sure you can bask in it for the rest of your life…that brings me to another frequent thought of mine, which is you and I being together for a very long time. By a very long time I mean for the rest of our lives. Sorry if that’s too much, but it is how I feel. I love you, Thranduil, and I never want to let you go._

_Maybe one day, when we’re old and you’re still as stunning as the first time my blessed eyes were fortunate enough to look at you, we’ll be sitting cozy and remember all of the things we’ve done together: our first date at Starbucks, singing and dancing ridiculously in the car, giving our bodies to each other for the first time in your dorm room, the raspberry condom (yes I remember it), texting back and forth as soon as school let out, cuddling at Crater Lake, finally seeing each other as an official couple, shooting together, our times at Erebor Suites, our recitations of Shakespeare to each other, and everything else in between and everything that will still happen. I hope such memories bring a smile to your face._

_The future holds a lot of potential for us, Thran. I am overjoyed that you’re on a journey to heal yourself and I want you to know I will always be here, I will always help, and I will always love you no matter what happens. I am your friend first and your boyfriend second. Always remember that._

_Never lose hope. I love you, Thranduil._

By the time it was eight thirty, Bard’s heart was feeling lonesome and he wished he was tired; the sooner he went to sleep, the sooner he would wake and be on his way to see Thranduil. He tried laying in bed with his eyes shut at ten, but seeing as he and Bilbo had been up until three the previous night and they woke at noon, he couldn’t drift off until shortly after one.

His alarm rang with jubilance, singing “ _Today is the day! Today is the day! Get up so you can go see Thranduil!”_. He sprang right out of bed and hurried around the house to put himself together. He wasted some time sifting through clothes, but then decided he didn’t care and Thranduil wouldn’t care about what he wore either. He pulled on a black tank top to match his jeans and then a floral button up over his tank – it wasn’t a very typical “Bard” outfit, but he just grabbed whatever was in sight. He didn’t even know why he owned that flowery shirt, now that he thought about it. It didn’t look too bad, it just wasn’t really his style. Probably a gift from some relative, he figured, shrugged, and put his hair up. He would have touched up on shaving - god knows he had time to do it all these past days – but he didn’t much feel like getting nicked by the razor in a rush. He slipped on some shoes and stared at them briefly, shaking his head and knowing they didn’t match. He swiped up his keys and his wallet, hopped in the truck, and went as fast as he could to California without breaking the speed limit.

Bard let his GPS lead him to the rehabilitation facility, and it didn’t give him much trouble. He took a few wrong turns, but the sign for Glenview Healing Rehabilitation Center finally came into view and he sighed with relief.

Now that he stood in front of the facility in person, he realized it was much nicer than the pictures he’d seen online and was pleased with such a fact. His beloved deserved only the best, and this did seem like the best. It looked more like a fancy hotel than a rehabilitation clinic, but that explained why it was so pricey. Hopefully the more extravagant exterior meant the services were higher quality, too.

Upon entering, he was met by a rush of cold air that was welcoming compared to the summer humidity outside. He went straight to the receptionist desk to have his items checked and put away in a locker and sign in. He donned an identification tag that told who he was and that he was permitted to be on the premises on his pants pocket. He was accompanied by one of the employees to the residential area and to Thranduil’s private room.

Bard waited excitedly outside the door as the employee knocked. He couldn’t help but smile as Thranduil’s low voice gave a dull okay for entry and the employee poked her head in to inform Thranduil he had another visitor, meaning he must have had visitors already. So Bard wouldn’t be the first, but he didn’t mind. He would be happy as long as he just got to see is beloved.

The employee stepped in, opened up the door and waved Bard in. She lingered to ensure that the guest was welcome, and departed a hair of a moment later when Thranduil’s eyes grew to the size of what Bard could swear was a half dollar each and his face lightened by the glow of his grin.

The blonde scrambled to sit up and then jumped off of his temporary bed. Bard was frozen with glee and let Thranduil come to him and nearly knock him over as he pummeled into him and yanked him into a tight embrace. Bard wrapped his arms around his boyfriend and nuzzled his nose into his soft, silken hair that draped over his shoulder from his long pony tail. When something long and dangling caught Bard’s eye, he glanced upward and saw that his love’s golden hair was held together by a familiar silver ribbon. Bard swooned at the sight of it.

Thranduil smelled magnificent just as he always did, how refreshing and wonderful! Just to hear him breathe, to smell him, feel him…it was everything that was good and precious in the world. He felt he could cry from pure happiness, but was too distracted by Thranduil lifting him and spinning him around like a ragdoll. He laughed and held on tight.

“I didn’t know you were so strong!” he said and was immediately kissed when he was set back down.

“You came, thank god!” Thranduil rejoiced and started to cover every bit of Bard’s skin with a kiss. The brunette laughed loudly and flailed to escape and Thranduil squeezed him tighter to keep him from escaping.

“Of course I came!” Bard squeaked and threw his head back as he laughed, stretching out his neck and giving Thranduil access to every inch unintentionally. His laughing fit was abruptly cut short as the kisses were no longer ticklish pecks and became deep and tender with flicks of the tongue and nibbling teeth. “Thran!” Bard gasped, but then sighed dreamily, finally feeling like he could really breathe again. They hadn’t been together five minutes yet and Bard was back on top of the world from seeing Thranduil’s face alone, but the kissing put him over the moon. He felt an “I love you” each time those sweet, plush lips touched him and it restored life into his body. He was charged, electricity flowing through him and light pouring out of him.

Bard didn’t even notice he was moving until his back hit the wall. He must have been floating.

Thranduil dragged his hands up and down the body of his brunette angel, from his hair all the way down to his hips. He sucked hard right beneath Bard’s Adam’s apple delightedly; having his love back in his arms was Elysian, but he wanted to be ever closer. He kissed him harder, fueled by Bard’s light moans.

“H-Hey,” Bard spoke and pushed against Thranduil’s shoulders to separate those hungry lips from his overheating skin, but the blonde dove for his lips and kissed him there. Bard didn’t want it to end, of course, and they’d had intimate relations in weirder places than this, but if caught, they’d certainly both be in trouble. He pinched Thranduil’s side and the blonde flinched and whined.

“Ouch! What, did I hurt you? I didn’t mean to.”

“No, but this probably isn’t the best place for us to catch up in that way, Thran. I don’t want you to get in trouble and I don’t want to be banned from seeing you. It’s been agony just these few days; I can’t go the rest of the month without you.”

“I wouldn’t want that either. That’s why we won’t get caught.” Thranduil whispered onto his lips and moved his hips so that their groins brushed against each other. Bard grabbed his lovers’ waist and held tight to keep their bodies locked right where they were with their most sensitive areas touching. “We only have a little while before they come back to check on me.”

“Um…w-well, h-how long is a…a little…a little while?” Bard asked, flustered as he rolled his hips and nudged Thranduil’s cock with his own. They’d both been yearning this kind of physical closeness, missing each other in more way than one.

“Ten minutes.” Thranduil answered and gasped in surprise as Bard yanked him closer.

“ _But I want more than ten minutes_.” Bard rasped and Thranduil groaned hungrily in response.

“So do I, my love, but it’s what we have.”

“Alright, try me. Ten minutes.”

“Oh, don’t worry. I’ll have you in less than ten minutes.” The blonde smirked as his hand rubbed down Bard’s leg and up into his inner thigh. He brushed against Bard’s trapped member, already growing firm, and Bard shivered – how glorious it was to finally have the touch of his love again! The fastenings of his pants were swiftly opened and Thranduil’s hand slipped inside. The blonde paused, his eyes large with surprise. “You’re not wearing underwear…did you anticipate this happening?” he asked with intrigue and bard blushed. Thranduil just grinned and bit down on Bard’s ear as his slender fingers wrapped around Bard’s excited cock. He whimpered and was hushed as he was stroked slowly, caringly. “You must be quiet for me. Can you?”

“Yes.” The brunette breathed and clutched his lovers’ shoulders. “Anything, Thranduil. Just be with me.”

“I’m here.”

“I’m here, too. Always.”

“God, I love you, Bard, so much.”

Before Bard had a chance to give his profession of profound love back, a fingertip glided teasingly over his entrance and he felt as if he could scream. Anything that may have risen was muffled by sweet lips kissing his. His body tensed more and more as he was prodded gently; he felt wildly on fire, yet calm like a cool stream. He trembled, swearing he was crumbling right before the feet of his beloved Thranduil at the ecstasy of being touched and held after so much loneliness. After brief moments of circling, Thranduil entered Bard and started pumping his finger in deeper and deeper as he drank in the sight of his flushed lover who was fighting the urge to moan for him between kisses.

Oddly, Bard felt safe in that foreign room because Thranduil was there, and he was holding him; he was in and around his body. Bard could never wish for much more, except perhaps Thranduil’s freedom from the curse that kept him in that very room.

Thranduil worked his finger with passion, wanting so badly to smother Bard with all the love built up inside of him. How he longed to be pressed against his body, skin to skin, and have all the time in the world to do only what they wanted. A fleeting thought came, telling him to stop and save this special part of their relationship until he was released from the center, because then it would be all the sweeter for the both of them, but Thranduil did not have strength for such things. Not by a long shot, especially for Bard who was so devastatingly attractive.

“I can’t believe you’re mine, that I’m yours. You’re too good for this earth.” Thranduil praised and watched even more pleasure flourish on Bard’s face as he pushed in a second finger. Bard gave a weak moan, suppressing his noises as much as he could, and hurriedly yanked Thranduil closer by the top of his jeans and nearly ripped them open. “I don’t think we have time enough for both of us. Just let me do this for you.”

“All or nothing.” The brunette shot back and made Thranduil whimper as he started jerking him in the softness of his palm. Bard smirked cheekily. “You have to be quiet too. Can you manage that?”

“Not if you keep talking to me like that. I can’t stand it when you’re naughty, it drives me nuts.”

“I know.”

They stared into each other’s hazy eyes as they pleasured one another, trying to keep their breaths shallow enough to hear if anyone approached the room. With intense listening, feeling, and touching all going on at once, every motion was heightened – a sensory stimulation overload that felt so euphoric that it all felt like scene to be viewed through everlasting rose colored glasses.

Bard could feel by how tense his boyfriend was and how hard his dick was in his hand that he would soon be finished; it was no wonder, since it was more than likely they’d both remained celibate during their time apart. His assumption was confirmed when just a moment later, Thranduil warned him.

“I think I-I’m going to s-soon, Bard…ha, you have magic hands to have me off with just a hand job.” The blonde chuckled lightly and bit down on his lip, but his eyes widened as Bard suddenly stopped all movement and wiggled himself away from Thranduil’s fingers. “What are you-?”’

“Just fuck me, Thranduil. Just for a minute.” Bard pleaded in a breath and Thranduil’s face, lightly dusted with blush from their actions, was full on seized with a shade of crimson. He smiled through his pleasantly surprised blush.

“My, you’re anxious. I was going to put that lovely cock of yours in my mouth and finish you that way, but whatever you want I’ll give you.”

“I just need you close to me, inside me.”

“Maybe we should go days without seeing each other more often if it gets you all fired up like this. I like you feisty. It’s so different, yet you’re still your charming self.”

“That’s very nice. Now, are you going to fuck me or not?”

“ _My_ Bard with such a dirty, impatient mouth?! This day is just full of wonderful surprises.” Thranduil smirked and pressed a kiss close to Bard’s ear before whispering into it in his most seductive voice. “Of course I’m going to fuck you. I could never say no to that face.”

They both shoved Bard’s pants down to his knees. The brunette faced the wall and bent over, sticking his rear end out and up, more than ready to be fully taken by his beloved. He was about to make a remark about Thranduil taking too long and leaving him empty, but the sound of the doorknob jiggling and the door creaking open stopped all thought.

They both snapped to attention, standing upright and scrambling to cover their exposed skin, but it was too late. They were caught in the awkward mid-phase of hiding their actions and froze. Even Thranduil looked nervous, which made Bard feel even more horribly sick than he already felt; Thranduil usually at least _looked_ calm.

Facing them with a dumbfounded expression was an older man, hair a mixture of white and grey and wrinkles fixed with pure shock. He was dressed rather casually like the rest of the attendants around the clinic, but Bard could tell he was employed there by the identification tag clipped to his shirt. He blinked his pale blue eyes at them before moving his gaze away and bearing a smile within his beard.

“Oh my, it seems I’ve interrupted something! Very sorry – carry on!” he said and was just starting to duck out of the room before Thranduil called for him.

“Gandalf?”

“Yes?”

“This is…we’re not going to get in trouble?”

“Heavens no! Who am I to stop young love? I was never here.”

The old man winked at them and gave a little wave before sliding out of the room and shutting the door quietly behind him. Fear laced with anxiety still coursed through Bard’s veins from his hammering heart as he turned to his boyfriend, utterly mortified. Thranduil started to chuckle and wrapped his arms around his embarrassed brunette. He pat his head gently as Bard let out muffled groans into his chest.

“That’s just Gandalf. He’s group leader and he’s very lax. We’re fine.”

“But it’s still embarrassing!”

“I’m the one that got spotted with my dick out. You at least covered yours…I can feel how fast your heart is beating!”

“I was just startled!”

“It’s okay, it’s over now.” Thranduil stroked one of Bard's curls as he kissed his cheek. He gently turned his head to kiss his lips, but Bard's mouth was stiff. Thranduil only smiled. “It’s alright. We’re alone now and no one else will be coming. We don’t have to follow through if you’re uncomfortable.”

“You’re not bothered at all?”

“Worse things could happen, right?” Thranduil shrugged with a sweet smile that relaxed Bard’s tense shoulders.

“I guess so.” Bard admitted meekly and leaned his head onto the blonde’s chest.

“So is it all, or nothing?” Thranduil asked and Bard smiled into the shirt pressed against his face.

“All.”

“…Really? You’re sure?”

“Why so surprised?”

“You should have seen how red your face was. You've always been one to blush, but-”

“I’m just going to try to forget it even happened. I just…I’ve missed you. All of you, everything.”

“I’ve missed you too, believe me.” The blonde spoke, pressed their foreheads together, and entangled their hands. “More than anything.”

“Kiss me before I change my mind, please.”

Bard gave a light squeeze to Thranduil’s package, making him shiver and moan. Thranduil smothered his boyfriend’s smirking lips with his own. The two went crashing back against the wall and shared a giggle and a hush, reminding each other to be quiet before sliding and rolling tongues together and biting flesh tenderly. They took each other by the cock as they remained locked at the lips and pumped their fists with fervor and traced teasing designs with their fingertips with precision. Heat was rising, skin tingling with warmth as they climbed further and further up into the clouds of ecstasy. Nothing appeared to exist outside of their haze; all that existed, all that _mattered_ was the other. Intimacy had been transformed into healing and an escape – a sweet escape from their despair and to each other.

“I want you to take me away from here for only a moment,” Thranduil huffed as he lowered his lover’s pants. Their eyes sparkled as their lips did, shining with a glossy coat of saliva.

“I want that too, Thran, I want it so bad.”

“I wish it could be more than a moment.”

“I’ll give you every moment when I can.”

Bard turned and bent over. He supported himself, planting his hands onto the wall. He gave an utterly content sigh as Thranduil’s hands ran from his bare chest down along the curve of his midsection to his hips. The blonde kept on massaging his boyfriend’s back end as he eased inside of him carefully, knowing that entry without proper lubrication is never easy. Bard instantly tensed once Thranduil proceeded after the head. Thranduil halted.

“Are you alright?” he asked softly.

“Yes, it’s just…tight.”

“Holding out for me, hm?” the blonde guessed with a smile that Bard could practically hear in his words and he blushed. “It’s fine. I appreciate the sentiment. It’s very romantic; always my sweet gentleman.”

Bard furrowed his brows as he felt something wet and warm pooling near his entrance after it dropped onto his skin very suddenly.

“What was that?” he asked, turning his head.

“Saliva.”

“Why?”

“We’ve shared spit many times before, Bard. This isn’t any different. I want to make it as painless as possible,” Thranduil explained as he coated his member and the brunette’s entrance with his makeshift lube. “If it disturbs you, we don’t have to, but I won’t go all the way without _something_ to ease the way since you’re so tight.”

“Spit it is.” Bard agreed.

After a few more droplets of saliva were applied, Thranduil slid inside his beloved and finally filled him entirely. He stayed still for a few moments as Bard’s muscles became accustomed to the familiar shape of his hard arousal.

“Okay, I think I’m ready now.” Bard breathed quietly and with a nod, Thranduil gave his first thrust.

Bard breathed heavily against the wall and soon into his own hand which he was biting down on to stifle his many moans that came with every flick of Thranduil’s hips. He wanted to yell praises to his talented, gifted boyfriend and his slim cock that pounded into his every sensitive area perfectly, but he had to suffer silence. His body shook profusely as his once lonely body was being dragged back into the euphoria he was so happily acquainted with again.

Thranduil leaned down, leaving kisses (some that would bruise) onto Bard’s freckled neck and shoulders.

“I’m here, Bard – _oh, I love you!_ ” he moaned just loud enough for Bard to hear and it made the brunette’s cock jump.

“I love you, god, _I love you!_ _Mmnh_ , _I’m going to cum!_ Don’t stop!”

Thranduil snaked his arm around his boyfriend and pumped his cock as he hammered Bard into his finish. He cupped the tip as Bard groaned and released himself, letting the hot liquid pour into his hand steadily. Thranduil kept his hips still until as the last few surges of seed spurted into his hand and Bard gave a weighted sigh.

He expected Bard to stay as he was for just a bit more, seeming fatigued, but the brunette spun around, pulled up his pants, and fastened them shut very quickly. Thranduil blinked, taken aback, and then Bard was on his knees welcoming Thranduil’s erection into the warmth of his mouth.

“Bard!” he exclaimed and then cursed himself for being louder than he anticipated.

As hazel eyes peered up at him, Thranduil licked all of Bard’s discharge from his hand sensually as he was watched.

“You taste so good,” Thranduil said once he was finished and whimpered as Bard took him in deep throat. “ _Mmph_ , you’re so good!”

Just then, Bard pulled away, his mouth glistening with wetness just like Thranduil’s hard on.

“I’m glad you enjoy me sucking your cock as much as I do.” He said with a smirk and then yanked Thranduil forward, shoving his prick back into his throat and making Thranduil gasp sharply.

The blonde could hardly stand, his legs trembling as Bard held his pelvis and kept forcing him to thrust forward; Thranduil would have done it himself, but his mind was hardly clear enough to follow through with such an idea.

A shockwave zapped through him the instant before he would meet the end of sweet release, and with his clean hand he gripped Bard’s hair and held him firmly in place, his hardworking lips resting at the very base of his cock. He spilled everything into Bard, and the devoted brunette swallowed it all down.

Once done, Thranduil slowly pulled out and tucked himself away with quivering hands. Bard rose and Thranduil blushed furiously.

“I’m sorry for that, I didn’t mean to, I just, I was… _wow_.”

“I don’t mind, darling.” Bard said with a smile and pulled the blonde in for a hug.

They both stood there holding each other without words as their heartrates slowed back into normalcy. After Thranduil decided he’d be able to move without Bard’s support, he went away to the bathroom briefly to wash his hands, and when he returned, they both laid on the bed where the infamous fair elk plush sat. They cozied up close to each other and cuddled face to face.

“So.” Bard began.

“So? You make me face-fuck you and you start the after conversation with _so?”_

“Um…I’m sorry?” the brunette questioned with worried brows. “I, uh…I don’t know. I thought you’d like it.”

“I did, but was just very surprising.”

“I’ve wanted you to for a while.” Bard admitted with his eyes trailing down and pinkness rising in his cheeks.

“Really? Why?”

“I’ve never told you, but I really enjoy sucking you off. Not more than rimming you or making love to you, but I still really like it. I like everything. I like you.”

Thranduil laughed and ran his fingertips over Bard’s beard.

“I like you too. In fact, I love you.”

“I love you too.” Bard said and lifted Thranduil’s hand to press a kiss onto it.

“You never said anything.” Thranduil spoke and Bard shrugged.

“I was just sort of nervous to ask. I’d feel weird to ask. Plus, things haven’t really been in balance lately. Sex hasn’t really been a priority.”

“I understand.” Thranduil nodded and left a long kiss on Bard’s forehead.

A pause – only breathing.

“Hey, I’ve brought you something!” Bard announced loudly and Thranduil jumped. They both chuckled. “Sorry.”

“What is it?! I mean, what could it possibly be? I can’t have _anything_ in here, they’re super strict. I can’t even have hair ties, unless it’s a soft scrunchie or, luckily for me, a ribbon.”

“Glad it’s come in handy.” The brunette said grinning widely as he tugged on the silver trinket holding Thranduil’s lovely, long locks up. He then reached into his back pocket, pulled out his folded up envelope, and handed it over. “Nothing in there but paper, so they said it was fine. Wait until I’m gone to open it.”

Thranduil complied and set the envelope on his little bedside table, much to Bard’s surprise; Thranduil normally would complain about not being able to open a gift right when he received it. It was clear his full attention was on Bard.

“You can’t ever leave. I just decided.” Thranduil proclaimed.

“Leave here? Well, I don’t have a choice. I think they’d kick me out and forbid me from ever returning if I pulled that.”

“It’s pretty lonely here without you. Without anyone.”

“At least you have ME!” Bard said as he picked up the elk and bobbed its head around while making a goofy face. Thranduil cracked a smile, but his eyes started to water and Bard’s silly expression faded. “Oh, Thran.”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t want to cry, but I knew I would. How ridiculous,” Thranduil said and his breath hitched, his breathing choppy now that the tears began flowing. Bard hugged him tightly and ran his fingers through his silken ponytail.

“I’m here now, love. I’m always with you in spirit.”

“I know, but it’s just _so hard_. All of it, not just being away from you. I even miss home, and my parents! They came to see me today and I cried then, too…”

“Nothing wrong with crying. You’re going through a lot right now. You’re emotions want to come out, so let them.”

“I just want to seem like I’m doing well, you know?” Thranduil sniffled.

“I know, and you are. You’re doing great – better than great! You’ve already done a whole week!”

“Sort of. It doesn’t matter how long I’m here, only how long I do well. The first day was weird, the second day was okay, and the third day was _really_ _bad_.”

“What happened?” After a pause, Bard pressed gently again. “Thran?”

“I felt like I was trapped with all of the rules, no familiar faces…I told them I’d rather die comfortably in my home than rotting here with all of these strangers. That screwed me over because then they told me I was in an emergent state and I couldn’t have visitors for four more days instead of two…and I got upset.”

“What did you do?”

“They took away the only thing I was looking forward to just because I was in a bad mood, so I yelled at them and…”

“And?”

“I don’t want to say. It’s embarrassing. I don’t want to talk about it anymore.”

“That’s fine. The bad things don’t matter; they’re over, done with. It’s all the good things you’re doing that matter.”

“I’ve been trying really hard since my first screw up. I want to get out of here as soon as I can.”

“That’s not the point,” Bard said more sternly and looked Thranduil deep in the eyes, hands cupping his face. “You are in here for you, so don’t be fake. If you’re fake and just put on a happy face, then you’ll just wind up in another bad spot. No one wants that for you, not even yourself. That’s a fact, even if you don’t always believe it. You’re already doing so much just by coming here willingly. Don’t cheat yourself from recovery.”

“When sorrows come, they come not single spies, but in battalions.”

A chill shot down Bard’s spine, remembering his day on the mountain, and he nodded in understanding.

“Yes, that is true.”

“Sometimes…sometimes it’s easier to just give in to the sickness that makes you miserable because it is so potent. In the end, it’s mine and mine alone, inside of me, and if I don’t actively fight it every day, it’ll take over. No one else can get rid of it and I’m not always strong enough to try to combat all that this terrible disease brings; all of the bad thoughts, the doubt.”

“That’s why you have so many people helping you prepare to fight. We’re all backing you up, suiting you up for battle so you can come back more victorious each time until soon enough, you’ve killed the enemy that is your illness. The remnant of your noble fight will always linger, but your illness won’t be able to hurt you anymore. Triumph may seem bleak sometimes when the storms of sorrow come, but that doesn’t mean you are ever alone or helpless. You have a whole army behind you waiting to patch you back up if you ever fail, but you will always go back out until you are finally the winner. You will win this, Thranduil.”

Thranduil nodded slowly in understanding, more tears trickling from his eyes, but a calm smile accompanied them.

“How did I ever get through life without your pep talks, Bard?”

“They were always inside of you and they always will be. Sometimes you just need to hear them out loud away from all the clutter in your head.”

“To think, there was a time I never knew you.”

“I know. Seems weird now.”

“Well, I must have potential to be a winner if I somehow won you over.”

“I did some winning too!”

“Pff, I was smitten the moment I saw you.”

“So was I with you!”

“But you were way more shy than I was.”

“You ran away after the first time you kissed me!”

“…That’s irrelevant.”

Bard gave him a dramatic face of disbelief and they both laughed. Bard loved how Thranduil looked when he smiled – it was a cloud nine all his own. Others could see him smile, but they would never feel as Bard did when they saw such a sight. The brunette tickled his love to keep that smile going and a ringing laughter came out of Thranduil as he tried to push Bard away. Not noticing how close to the edge of the bed Thranduil had become trying to evade him, Bard was just as surprised as Thranduil was when he went flying off the side and dragged Bard down with him.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey look, I updated something! And more updates for other fics are to come! I did take a break for a while for personal reasons, but here is a thing - yay!


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